none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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