I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I am mentally ready for anal.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
