Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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