Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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