um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
