LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
