My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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