K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
