Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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