Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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