Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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