So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
