very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
