I want to walk on stilts...naked
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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