i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
