The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
PANTIES FOUND
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