u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
