i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize