I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
