i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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