If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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