If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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