Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
