capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
