I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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