So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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