I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
