Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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