the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
