Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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