K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
