i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
