My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
its not stalking. its research.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
