hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
