what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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