I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
