Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
