So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize