Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
