this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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