She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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