Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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