thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're like the curious george of whores
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
