I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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