Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
