you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
