Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
