dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
