I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
