That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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