there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
