He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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