the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
