is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
