I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
