I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
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On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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