True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
