Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
These tits shall not be calmed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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