Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
