I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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