Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
