I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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