Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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