There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
