I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
