all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
